Disclaimer: The following post has images of bad words in it. It is otherwise perfectly safe. Just thought you might need to know, in case you’re slacking off at work, or something.
This weekend, I get to celebrate a friends birthday. I won’t get into how old he’s getting, but lets just say it’s above legal. And as anyone who reads this blog even somewhat regularly knows, I like to make gifts for people. I try really hard to always make something cool, unlike the gifts I used to make my mom and grandmother when I was little (milkweed-pod angel ornament anybody?); I just don’t want to get that face when they open their gift, and you know what face I’m talking about, the one that says “Oh, thanks, I’ve always wanted one of these…..how soon is too soon to donate this?” This can be hard to do when you hand make something, so I try to keep my gift making in the realm of Alcohol. Either I am only friends with lushes, or I’m a terrible influence, but I have yet to go wrong with something under this theme. Then again, my friends may all drink because they’re friends with me. I don’t think I’ll ask.
Just the same, I wanted to make my friend a gift, but I had one problem. In the past I’ve made Flasks, here and here, and even pineapple vodka, here, but this pal doesn’t do hard liquor; he does, however drink plenty of beer and I’ve heard wine, though I’ve yet to see it. Well, you can’t put beer into a flask, and if you could, why would you want to, but you can put it into a glass. So I asked his wife if I could etch him a glass, and if she had any thoughts as to what it should say; wives do know best, after all. She said that this man puts “Bad [M F-er]” on everything. I was surprised, and asked if I could put “Bad Em Effer” on the glass instead, and she said “No, if you’re going to do it, you have to go all the way, man.” I haven’t gotten the full story yet, but apparently he even has his little motto engraved on his wedding band. He must be really “Bad.”
I decided I was big enough to commit, and came up with a scheme. I would do a sort of ransom-note style letters, and I opened up Illustrator and got to work. Again, I printed my mask out onto sticky-back paper…
and then placed it onto my glass; which I just happened to have on hand, so this little project didn’t cost me anything out of pocket, just lots of brain power and time. I cut it all out, and taped the glass up.
I won’t go into all the details of what happens next because you can see them in the Flask posts above, but in the end, the glass looked like this…
I even had two extra masks left over, you know, in case I messed one up, and after covering them in a glass fixative — my printer ink runs — they will be an additional gift as well.
I’m quite pleased with the result, even if it’s not something I would put out there into the world. Guess I’m just not that “Bad.”