As I mentioned before, I have a wedding to attend this weekend. In honor of those pending nuptials, I have a special Wedding-Themed list for you all today.
- Recycle. When asking your beloved for their hand in marriage, use an old ring instead of buying a new one. It can be a family heirloom, or just one you picked up at a pawn shop, though its best to let them think its a family heirloom in that case. Just think of all the money you’ll save! Even better, don’t give a ring at all, and say you want to get tattoo-rings. Angelina Jolie did it, so its fashionable, and theres absolutely no waste of material involved, and it can’t be taken off, so you will know your love is forever.
- The Dress. The dress is important, very important, and even I spend a fortune on mine. That said, money could be saved by picking up a used one, or fashioning one out of other things you have on hand. As a mater of fact, I have a fashion-designer friend who could make a stunning dress out of those six-pack-rings on soda cans and bubble-wrap. And just think, if you went that route, you’d save even more money, and you’d be single-handedly responsible for saving the lives of at least 8 dozen turtles by keeping those rings out of the environment, because even though all brides kid themselves, the dress ends up hanging in the closet for the next 30 years in hopes that it can be passed down. Brides are a hopeful sort.
- To save money, and the environment, the happy couple should have their ceremony outdoors. Having the ceremony outdoors means no lights, no A/C, and, if your party is small, no sound system to drain electricity and squeak out peoples eardrums. If it’s hot, then have your party carry fans; they’ll get a workout and be cool. It’s a win-win.
- At the reception, use real plates and napkins; sure they will both need to be washed, but you’ll be on your honeymoon, so you won’t have to do it. And when it’s time to leave, instead of throwing rice, or releasing doves, release lab animals back into the wild. Think how happy you’ll feel – you and the animals will be starting new lives together!
- And finally, pull a Jack Kerouac for the honeymoon. Hitch-hiking around the county will let you see what you are so desperately trying to save, and save you tons of cash. Since it will be just you and your honey for many miles, walking down desolate, but beautiful, American highway, you’ll have lots of time to bond, and start your marriage right. And just think of all the interesting people you will meet, and who you can tell “I just got married!!” to.
Or you could just elope!
Happy Weekend, and congratulations you two!!